Holiday Profits

I think I’ve stumbled onto a possible business venture here in the T-Park.  While out shopping the other day I just up and decided that I should go ahead and put up a Christmas tree.  I stopped at a tree lot and quickly picked one out that looked good to me.  The error of my non-trailer considerate decision was immediately apparent as soon as I got the tree onto my porch.  It was not going to go through the door, let alone fit in the living room area which I still have filled with post-divorce leather and mahogany furniture.  The only place to put it would be up against the wall fairly close to the front door. (Yes, trailers have “fronts”.  I was as surprised as you are.)  I don’t have many ornaments anyway, and I had to find a way to put the tree up and still have room to walk by it, so I decided to split it in half lengthwise.  This would allow me to butt it up against the wall while preserving a healthy fullness to its appearance.  So I drug it out behind the trailer (there’s a “behind” as well), got out the chain saw and went to work.  I don’t know how many of you have tried this but those who have know that it was no easy task.  The chain was repeatedly clogged by sap and by my attempting to cut along WITH the grain.  It took many starts and stops for that reason alone, but also because my neighbors kept coming out after hearing the chainsaw and offering their advice.  A concerning majority of them told me that the same problems are experienced while trying to chainsaw bones, “especially fresh femurs”.  I avoided eye contact, thanked them and was finally able to finish.  As soon as my tree was halved, a spontaneous auction started between my neighbors for the other half.  I paid $45 for the tree, spent about 1 hour on it, have myself a tree that fits perfectly and sold the other half for my initial $45 investment.  Not too shabby, huh?  I think that there might be a real market for professional Christmas tree halving!  These are great not only for T-Parkers, but for small apartment renters, college dorms and prisons as well.  The half-trees save room, look great, put off a piney aroma that you just can’t get from a whole tree and with the exposed sap they easily adhere to whatever wall you want to put them up against.  I love mine and think they could really satisfy an untapped market next holiday season.