2 new developments lately my faithful readers. First, parking. I have enough parking space for 2 cars, but only own 1. It seems that by not filling the vacant spot with a rotting 80's Z28 or a Harley worth 3 times as much as the trailer, I have left the spot open for public use. My neighbors have taken to helping themselves to parking in my driveway! I suppose that this could be viewed as a gesture of trust or acceptance, but I suspect that I am simply being taken advantage of by them in hopes of confusing the repo-man on his daily route through the T-Park. The extra spot IS open most of the time as I have no visitors but I feel like I should keep it open for the occasional tourist or Facebook Fan or so the police have a place to park when taking a statement after one of my many calls. Putting up a No Trespassing sign seems completely ridiculous in a community where your entire house can easily be stolen while you're at work. I can't let myself be pushed around though, at least not in my own driveway. Am I being tested?
I've also been outed as a single man in the T-Park after is was pointed out that I have yet to be heard "yellin' at my ol' lady". It has immediately been suggested that I am long overdue for a visit by a young lady in the community that is evidently known for spending time with single men or "tearing off a piece" I believe is how it was worded. When I said that I would be open to going on a date with her I was met with maniacal laughter and told to just make sure I had plenty of Little Debbie Peanut Butter Bars by Friday evening, advised not to make direct eye contact and that leaving my door unlocked would NOT be necessary now that I had made The List. I've also been asking the woman's name since learning of my impending date and I always experience the same response from man, woman and child....they tilt their heads back, grab their throat and scream "pork and beans!" While this has caused me quite a bit of concern obviously, I also have to admit that I'm intrigued as well.
Wish me luck with the parking situation and I guess you can be happy for me for getting back in to the dating game (albeit with a hint of reluctant terror). If you want to come visit be sure to give me plenty of notice so I can open up a parking spot. Also, if the trailers a rockin', no need for knockin'. Please just notify the proper authorities as soon as possible
No comments:
Post a Comment